Filed under: Photographic Evidence
but I thought it was funny… and let’s face it… this site needs content. Thanks to Kevin Brown.
Following are actual excerpts (with some editing for readability) from an email conversation I had this morning:
George wrote:
I had a taste of this the other night. My buddy Josh’s girlfriend brought this from her store. Not really that new of an idea. I’ve had a ‘bloody beer’ before. A good portion of the label is in Spanish, so I’m led to believe it’s more popular in the Latina parts of town. I didn’t hate it. It’s only sold in singles, but I don’t see anyone drinking too many of these. For some reason it made me think of Kev’s Bacon Vodka… by that I mean I’m wondering if, like Kev’s Bacon Vodka, it could be used in cooking. Maybe some beer-battered shrimp. Any thoughts?
Jim wrote:
It would probably be Ok for beer battered shrimp. Although I generally use a stouter beer for that.
It would be good for beer can chicken on the grill. Other than that, I don’t use beer too much in cooking. Some put it in chili, but I don’t much care for that.
Tomb wrote:
Looks like a combo of beer, clam & tomato juice with a hint of lime. Served warm with the chance of getting very sick.
Kevin Brown wrote:
Interesting. Is it thick at all? Like say, a bloody Mary? I ask because if it is, it’s possible that the only part to evaporate when cooking beer can chicken would be the beer leaving you with a thick burnt tomatoey goo that could add some nasty flavor to your chicken. If it’s real watery, it probably wouldn’t.
Like Jim, I don’t cook with a lot of beer and when I do, most recipes call for ales or stouts.
It’s possible that it might be a tasty addition to say a shrimp scampi as a tomatoey/hoppy last couple of minutes addition. You could go easy on the fat used and sear the shrimp quickly. Add some minced garlic toward the end, deglaze the pan with the clamato and simmer briefly to thicken, burn off some of the alcohol and impart some tomato flavors to the shrimp. Serve up with some crusty bread and a side salad. Could work.
George wrote:
No it’s about the same consistency as beer. Maybe a little thicker, but not much. The beer butt chicken, shrimp and chili are good ideas. After a little reading I’m thinking it’s used to get over a hangover. I bet a shot of Kev’s in a glass of this would do the trick.
Kevin wrote:
Yeah, it might be an interesting addition to a bloody Mary. I got it! A “Boiling Clamato” drop one shot glass of Vodka into a pint glass of Clamato. Chug- sit back and watch the ceiling spin.
Kevin wrote:
I think it’d be good to sip on (ice cold) with a dozen fresh oysters on the half-shell. Go easy on the cocktail sauce and heavy on the horseradish. When you’ve nothing left but shells and an empty can, belch and order a Bud.
George wrote:
That actually sounds pretty good. Or you could use it in a drinking game. Shot gun a tall one! Oh… it comes in Budweiser and Bud Light flavors. FYI.
Kevin wrote:
Not something you chug before a 5K charity race on a sweltering, Summer Sunday morning after a night of binge drinking and cigar smoking.
“Dude!? You got clamato all over your face!”
Filed under: Drunken Nights
There we are. Your two favorite alcoholic bloggers sitting at our usual booth in the smoking section of El Vaquero (on 280 in Phenix City) enjoying a tastey 45oz Texas Margarita (with Jose Cuervo & Grand Marnier) and several 32oz Miller Lites. Then came the free Dos Equis. Then came the free shot of Jose Cuervo. Then came the drive home.
That’s where it went downhill. Taking some shortcuts home to avoid the PCPD I decided it would be a good idea to hang out the window and sing the song we were blasting on the radio. First my hat flew off. Tough luck, it comes with the territory, I’ll just have to get a new one. Then, fuck, my glasses flew off. I made Rev. Flo-well slam on brakes so I could jump out of his truck and run up this steep hill in search of my glasses. Lo and behold, there they were in the middle of the street unharmed. I did have to snatch them up before another car came barreling down right over them, though. The hat ended up being in the back of the truck. The gods above must understand we all make mistakes and looked after me. My glasses appear untouched, my hat is safely back on my head, we didn’t get a ticket or hauled off to jail, and was able to make it safely back to my house to play our new favorite drinking game “Fuck The Dealer” (thanks Chase!). Not that we need a game to drink or anything, but it’s fun. I’ll share the rules with everyone here in a future blog post.
That’s not the end of this story, though. I had to buy some cigarettes so we stopped by the Circle K that’s near by. On the way in, there was a gentleman with a nametag that read “Spasskey” washing the windows, so I politely asked him “HEY WATCH MY CAR SO NOONE FUCKING STEALS IT!”. His response was a rude “If you don’t want your car stolen, take the god damn keys out!”. Oh, it was war from this point on. He came in, opened his register up, and I immediatly made a bee-line for it. I demanded a pack of Marlboros and informed him I had $5 in quarters I would pay him with. The total price was $4.15 so he gave me 3 of my quarters back and told me I had had too much to drink.
Naturally I laughed and said “Bullshit, but you owe me a fucking dime, Spasskey!”
Spasskey: “I’m getting it mother fucker!”
Me: I started beating on the counter “Ten cents, hurry up! I want my dime Spasskey!”
S: “You don’t want me to come around this counter!”
Me: “You won’t, you don’t want to lose your job, Spasskey. Give me my damn dime!”
Finally he handed me my dime, called me a punk mother fucker multiple times, and I laughed and headed out the door.
I’m thinking of going back and aplogizing to the guy. I did fuck with him from the moment I walked in to the moment I walked out, but I know most of the cashiers at this store and didn’t expect some new guy to take it to heart. I was laughing my ass off through the course of all of this and obviously completely shithoused drunk. He should’ve enjoyed cutting up with me instead of letting his Napoleon complex kick in and threatening me with physical harm.
Here’s to you, Spasskey!
Filed under: Photographic Evidence
Below is the greatest billboard I’ve ever seen for one of the worst beers I’ve ever drank. It used to hang on 10th Avenue near my old house on Virginia Street. Although the art is incredible, the subject matter is a lie. I don’t know many black people who drink this crap. This swill is normally consumed by white males with small peni. Still, it’s a great work of art.
Check it out:
I don’t know what Alabama genius thought of making the speed limit on 14th St. (aka 13th St, aka Crawford Rd, but that’s another set of complaints) 30 mph but I bet he won’t be willing to pay my recently acquired speeding citation. What 4 lane major road has a speed limit of 30 mph? It’s not like it’s a school zone either. Maybe the asshole who thought it was a good idea is smarter than I’m giving him credit for. Any officer with a chip on their shoulder could sit anywhere on that road for less than 30 seconds and catch a “speeder”.
This just furthers my belief that Phenix City and 90% of it’s residents are in on one huge prank on proving the stereotype that Alabama is just a bunch of half-wit hillbillys. Okay, you convinced me, jokes over… please.
Mayor Gin Wetherington!
Do yourself a favor. If you’re ever in the Spectrum (now Circle K) at 14th St. & Veterans Parkway in Columbus and run into this guy, buy him a 40oz of Colt 45 and have him sing Wham! - Wake Me Up Before You Go Go and dance. It’s perhaps the best entertainment for the money in the Chattahoochee Valley area.
